Twice on Saturday she ran away from me in stores and I had to chase her down. Then once yesterday she tried to take off in Wal-Mart's parking lot while I was putting our bags in the truck. Every time I tell her that she can't run away from Mommy, that she's going to get hurt and it scares Mommy.
Then yesterday afternoon we were getting ready to go to Shannon and Marys and she had my keys and was pretending to unlock the passenger side door of the truck and in the blink of an eye she took off to run around to the other door (which was on the street side). I bolted after her and THANK GOD she stayed right up against the side of the truck, because if I had been a second or two slower or she had gone a foot and a half in the other direction, she would have gotten hit by a car.
I grabbed her up and spanked her bottom (which I never do) and was yelling at her. I immediately put her in the car seat and started fastening her seat belt. She was screaming and crying, I was screaming and crying. I went around to get in the other side and had to stand there a minute to stop shaking and then I threw up.
Just like that she could have been gone. It still makes me sick to think about it. I couldn't sleep last night, I just kept waking up and looking at her, thinking if things had gone just a tiny bit the other way, she could dead now.
How do I get a handle on this? Does anyone have any suggestions?